Why Wont You Change?

Here is a great post from Tony Morgan of New Spring Church talking about why we cant change not only our bosses but people in general. Be careful though, its kind of convicting!

It may or may not surprise you that the most frequently asked question during the “Killing Cockroaches Summer Tour” was how do I change my boss?

In a couple of instances where I knew the person was married, I responded to that question with this question: How do you change your spouse? (Hint for marital bliss: Don’t try to answer that question. You’ll find yourself sleeping on the couch tonight.) If you’ve been married longer than a few weeks, you know that you can’t change your spouse. You’re really fighting a losing battle if you think you will.

We can’t change your spouse. We can’t change your boss. The only person we have any hope of changing is ourselves, and that, I’ve learned, is a little difficult without a move of God. It could quite possibly be the case that if you think your boss needs to change, maybe your perspective needs to change.

• Look in the mirror. You may be thinking your boss is unhealthy, but is it possible that you’re the one that really needs to make some changes? That’s the easiest place to start.
• Support your boss. He or she is human. Your boss is learning how to lead just like you are. How can you provide encouragement? What can you do to make their life easier? Have you prayed for them recently?
• Model healthy leadership. If it works for you and people acknowledge that you’re helping the organization fulfill it’s mission, others may want to learn from you.
• Focus on the relationship. People don’t like change unless they’re initiating the change. None of us like being changed or receiving change. We all need relationships with people we can trust though. It’s amazing what you’re willing to do for someone you trust.
• Move on. If you can’t support your boss, then you’re only pulling yourself and others down if you stick around. (Before you do that, see the first four bullets.)